about Cycle Diagram 2
The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.
Sample Answer :
The figures illustrate the stages in the life of a silkworm and the process of producing silk cloth.
There are four main stages in the life cycle of the silkworm, from eggs to adult moth. The process of silk cloth production involves six steps, from silkworm cocoon to silk material.
Interestingly in 10 days eggs of the adult moth convert to lava which depends on mulberry leaf as their main food. In terms of the duration of transformation from lava to silk thread for certain takes the longest time compare to all other stages.Then in 3-8 days cocoons result from larva which is the most pivotal product of this biological process for the foreseeing project of silk material.
The silk material production process commence with boiling the selected eggs in the hot water then follows a drying procedure.The end result indeed we name as ''Thread'' is undergoing a dyeing procedure in any colour, in order to weave to get a silk material.
(162 words, band 9)
You can learn it by analysing the answer.
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ReplyDeleteHi, nice to see you. Please come again and invite your friends. Thank you.
DeleteThe above response cannot be a Band 9, unless the examiner was negligent or stupid. The response contains many errors of grammar, spelling and transition, furthermore, the coherence level and lexical resource scores are only band 7.5. Errors include these: in the main body paragraph the first preposition "OF" should not be there; the word larva is misspelled as "LAVA" in both the first and second sentence; the transition word INTERESTINGLY, does not fit the context, nor does it provide any cohesive linking function. In the 3d sentence, besides the spelling error, the FOR CERTAIN is informal, whereas the formal "CERTAINLY" should be used; additionally, the verb COMPARE is the wrong tense and should be "COMPARED" I don't have the time or inclination to list the other 10 or so errors, but this is a BAND 8 and definitely NOT a BAND 9 essay, regardless of what any examiner may have given it.
ReplyDeleteoh so how make our grammar strong
DeletePlease score my answer to the same task :-
ReplyDeleteThe diagram illustrates the stages in the life cycle of a Silkworm and the way in which silk cloth is manufactured from these worms.
Overall, the duration of life cycle of the silkworm ranges between 3.5 and 4 months. The silk cloth that is produced from these worms is a final product of 5 consecutive steps.
When a fully developed Silkworm nears the breeding period, it generally lays the eggs on the leaves of trees. After a period of 10 days, Larvas are born from the eggs which feed on the Mulberry leaves. 6 weeks later, Silk threads are formed around the Larvas. These threads are subsequently converted into Cocoons after a week. These Cocoons are either used for production of Silk cloth or are responsible for the birth of moths when left untouched.
Now, the process of making silk begins with selecting the right quality Cocoons. Next, they are boiled together in a container filled with water which results in swelling of the Cocoons. They are then unwound with an average thread length of around 300 to 900 m from each piece. They are either carefully twisted with each other to make it strong or woven together with a machine to form a piece of cloth. Both the twisted form and woven form are finally mixed with a dye in order to get the required color.
Very good. Keep your good work. Do not worry too much about the score.
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